Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -15

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops