Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Sex education in Texas,

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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