Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops