What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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13 =B you just learned something

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops