What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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