Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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