Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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The New York Giants

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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