Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

Cancer

What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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