How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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