Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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a irish man walks past a bar

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Atheism

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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dallen loves penis

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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