What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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TRICERATOPS!

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops