A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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