Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops