Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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8

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Gustavo Andrade

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops