How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

Robin, get in the car, please.

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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