What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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