What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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