What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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