What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If life gives you lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops