What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What is better than tissues? Correct!

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

What comes after Friday? A ?.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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