Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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kieran is a homosexual

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops