what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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