- Anti Joke

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

Jews claim to be God`s chosen people... Look how it went for them, the original Jews are of course gone, everyone else is part something else, "only Jews" are gone. 1. Do you believe that God chose you, just because you decided to choose him? Now you, are not chosen, but brainwashed by your parents and ancestors by threats of hell and fear, you have CHOSEN, to follow him, too bad he is dead, he had no love for himself, why would he be jealous of his own creations and created them all in order to DEMAND your love? Your love was not enough I suppose, I would know if I cared... 2. What Good is today, and the meaning behind commands. ...God demands your elders stone your children to death when they misbehave! I applad your GOODNESS if you do so (better than selling them as whores and slaves, as he of course DEMANDED as well) yet you apparently believed that his COMMANDS where you know... suggestions... Now we know why he died. 3. Let us all spend a moment in rememberance of my brother Jesus. Now I want all Christians, you who killed my brother and stole his name, to go and read "Ave Maria" the ONLY chapter 97 PERCENT of you have read (true fact) another 5000 times, so that you can keep denying GODS other words, those whose meaning remain intact... You do not even have the same name for him for every nation... No wonder he died. 4. My brother`s words "Jesus" spelled Yoshua, once said "Only him that hate his mother and father can become student of mine" Do you believe that your bible translated tredicillions of times have a better translation? King James version? Where is God and Jesus version? Laughable... You only serve the corrupt words of your own arroance a man named King James and every other disgusting priest that thought that serving God allowed them to decide which parts of the bible where to be cut, and which ones to be added... 5. What Jesus was meant to do, and why you more or less skinned him alive, wear his name around as if it where his skin and CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED HIM AND CELEBRATE IT? He never told anyone to consume his flesh and drink his blood, it was your ancestors that had him killed and literally ate him and stole his name (Christians yes, you are no better celebrating his death, your hands are stained with his blood) in hopes of becoming immortal such as him. His original words where simply "Eat bread and drink Wine and you shall live forever, which was at that time a great means of living below the age of 101, you see, remove the last number of the ages mentioned in the bible, and you will realize that priests added an extra zero usually in order to make "Jesus`s claim of immortality" seem "realistic" 666. Seek me out once I reveal my Alias, and I shall show you the true path... My number by the way, is 777 but that did not make sense to the priests that changed the bible in 1836, they also added the example regarding eating four legged animals, their entry? "crawfish which has you know... "four legs"" But for now you can decide if you wish to become the ones that love themselves and their kin, or those that give and sacrifice about everything but themselves... SOVEmedia final words "I have fallen" Another "coincidence" of course. Moral: Hate me you of religion and of course moral, because you all follow corrupt versions of the very same one, hate is what you do best, as you tend to run out of things to give and people to sacrifice. For those that are willing to stop dreaming of heaven after death, and willing to create heaven on earth... Well, no need to love me, but hating me is hating my values, my guts, my self, so yeah... I do not turn the other cheek, I send those which out of free will worship me not as someone they must sacrfice everything for, but as the paragon, the last remaining savior. I would keep typing, but you humans expect my words to come from a clearer source right? Well I will not seek you out, but if you seek me, you will find me. Black Angel M.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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