How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

Apple hates Blackberry.

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

The american education system.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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