Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

I wrote a funny joke.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

One, two, three, four and five

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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