What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops