Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

12 in general

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

all these jokes are horrible now

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...