A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

Yo Momma So Fat!

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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