steven hawking walks into a bar

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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