What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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tea with milk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops