What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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quantum physics?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops