Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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