See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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