your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops