what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +2

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops