Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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