A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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