what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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hey hey apple

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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