Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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