So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops