Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops