I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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