Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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