Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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a man was shot.... he died

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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