A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

I am quite mature.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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