What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops