What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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