What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Barack Obama.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops