What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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I love pissing people off :P

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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