What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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