What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is black and has no education A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops