Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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You having friends.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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it was all Tagart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops