Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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