What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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A bar walks into a man

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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