What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

Committing Suicide #YOLO

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

"Knock knock." "Come in."

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Women deserve equal rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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