A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops