What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops